Day 34.......Thinking Like a Servant

I've got to admit I've missed the boat in many of these areas. I've wrongly thought that it was about the numbers, about the recognition, about so many other things. I've made my share of mistakes as a follower of Christ, and as a pastor. Too many to even count. I've known several servants (by definition) who really impacted my life. The greatest of whom was my maternal grandmother. Whenever you entered her house, you were the center of attention. She was not happy unless she could cook something for you, or pour you a Coke (soft drink) or a coffee. She was the most loving example of a servant I've ever known. I miss her lots. She died at the age of 92 a few years back. She wasn't as happy in the end, because she couldn't serve anymore. It really bothered her that others had to serve her. She really didn't like that. She wanted to be the one serving, not the one served. I know she's happy now, she's serving God there in heaven.

I've learned so much in this book. So many things, good and bad, I've learned about myself. I've seen that some of my motives have been out of whack. And I've seen some good things when I stepped back and looked at things that I do on a daily basis, that I do without thinking. Areas where I serve others without even really realizing that's what I'm doing. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when I try and focus in on doing things.....serving and whatnot, sometimes I can do it for the sake of doing it. But when I allow the Lord to just use me I do things without even thinking about it. I'm not nearly as mature as I thought I was, but it's a good thing to realize that. Because now I can begin to mature in areas where I was still running around in diapers so to speak.

"Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve others?"

I was a waiter for about 3 1/2 years and I know what it's like to serve someone and not be appreciated at all. But I'm realizing that in my service to Christ, via my service to others, it's not recognition or even gratitude that I need from them. That all comes from Daddy. I am seeing that in myself I am more concerned about serving others rather than being served. For a while that was definitely not the case. And folks would mention it to me, and it went in one ear and out the other. But then the Holy Spirit got a hold of me, so to speak, and He changed me from the inside out. In many instances my head would swell when someone would address me as "pastor". I think maybe that's why it was good for me to step down for a season in order to realize that it's not about others serving me, it's about me serving others. Whether it's recognized or appreciated or not.
:-) James